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How forming the right informal relationships impact a leader’s influence

In literature, film and television the hero might be credited with the victory, but often their decisions are coloured by an influencer in the background. In business, being an influential leader is not confined to those with a seat in the boardroom. Leaders outside senior management are in a prime position to influence change, innovation and decision-making – if they form the right informal relationships.

Within formal, structured hierarchies, each player must know their role and stick to it. Think teams or project groups – sticking to the structure is vital in these scenarios.

However, not all decisions are made within meetings and inside structured groups. Managers can also have their ideas heard and considered by building informal relationships.

Based on a study, casual coalitions may come about through chats at coffee shops, the office hallways or even while exercising together. These informal conversations can then help managers build a friendly relationship with senior leaders and other colleagues. That, in turn, allows managers to – in the best case, inform key decisions and at worst, provide senior leaders with an idea of how the organisation thinks and feels.

The aim is to develop more candid conversations and open up new lines of communication between key decision-makers and the rest of the business, not creating a channel for lobbying personal interests.

Informal relationships do more than just afford managers the ear of senior leaders. These coalitions can influence other key activities:

 

Informal relationships influence innovation

Research on innovation describes it as a social process since it is not limited to the conjuring up of ideas but also involves acceptance and implementation. This means that the innovator and the individual responsible for delivering it must agree.

Whether the innovative idea is implemented may therefore rely on the strength of the informal relationship of the parties involved. The better each other know and trust each other, the higher the likelihood of a successful outcome.

 

Informal relationships influence change

One of the most difficult situations to manage is change. People are wired to resist it yet it’s a recurring feature in the modern workplace. However, a study found that having a strong informal network can affect successful change management.

It concluded that those with strong informal networks became clear change agents regardless of their position in the organisation. The study also found that people who built their informal networks acted as a bridge between socially disconnected colleagues resulting in improved buy-in when change is rolled out.

Make more time for quick chats and start building healthy casual relationships with your leaders and colleagues. You never know how your influence can impact the rest of the business.


Sources (these articles are available to IML ANZ members via Leadership Direct):

Defusing A Time Bomb

 

It takes more than a spot of maturity to manage workplace conflict, writes JANE CARO

 

You need to be a grown-up before you can effectively and calmly manage conflict. By that I don’t mean you have to have reached chronological maturity. I mean you have to be able to control your own emotions and behave in an adult fashion. One of the reasons businesses (and families, parliaments, schools, clubs, sporting teams, etc) have trouble managing conflict is because few people have fully grown up.

Far too many people in positions of power take conflict personally. I think the essence of being a grown-up is knowing where you stop and other people start. Not everything is about you. I remember taking a conflict-based problem to the HR manager of a company where  I once worked, only to be greeted by a response best summed up as “you think you’ve got problems? Wait until you hear about my problems!”

As you can imagine, this was not helpful. Worse, I got the clear message that next time  I had a problem I should keep it to myself. I did and, of course, eventually I left.

Conflict is an inevitable part of life and relationships, including at work. People who work closely together, particularly if the demands are stressful, will have grievances and aggravate each other from time to time. Small irritations are probably best left to those involved to work out but if the problems become chronic then intervention is required, and quickly.

Obviously it is important to have clear policies on dealing with conflict. It is important the lines of communication are open and non-judgmental (this is crucial). If you are a manager and an employee comes to you with a workplace conflict, it is understandable that your heart might sink, but it is also vital you keep that response to yourself.

Remind yourself that an employee will only risk telling you about this stuff if they trust you and if the conflict has gone beyond a joke. Knowing the real emotional temperature of the workplace you manage is much more of an opportunity than a problem, so look at it that way.

Good, confident (aka grown-up) managers want to know about conflicts before they escalate into full-scale warfare and blow up in your face, so encourage people to come to
you early. Managers who subtly (or not so subtly) indicate they don’t want to know are just storing up big trouble for the future. Managing conflict requires you to be calm, scrupulously fair and open-minded.

Listen to both sides of the story. Try to get those involved to listen to each other. If you can’t manage that, there are professional mediators who are skilled in trying to open communication when it has broken down (that is what most conflict is about). When you decide what you will do, you need to explain not just your actions but also the reasons behind them clearly and calmly.

Make sure you have been fully understood. Allow those affected to express how they feel, even if it is negative. You can listen – you can be compassionate – without changing your decision. Try not to apportion or accept blame. Blame is never helpful and can only escalate tensions. Who is to blame is not the issue, what can be done so that everyone can continue working effectively together is the goal. Don’t seek the sympathy of those you are disciplining – this is not about you, it is about your staff.

If you have a difficult staff member, try to remember that however toxic their behaviour, they are human, too. Don’t bully the bullies. If you have to remove someone from their job, do it as kindly and compassionately as you can. If you suspect they are struggling with emotional or mental health issues try to get them the appropriate help. However they behave, you must remain calm. You are then modeling the right way to behave to the rest of your staff. Do not get hooked into their emotional state.

Dealing with conflict is hard and requires self-control and maturity. That’s why – in high-performing workplaces – often senior managers and HR personnel are responsible for conflict resolution as their experience better equips them for the task. The more open, straightforward and fair-minded your management style, the less problems you will have with workplace conflict. To be honest, toxic workplaces are usually created from the top.

 

Jane Caro runs her own communications consultancy. She worked in the advertising industry for 30 years and is now an author, journalist, lecturer and media commentator.

 

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